Episode 025: A Journey into Sacred Relationship
With Sylina Abke
We learn to live in alignment with our soul's purpose by coming into relationship with who we are. Only then can we relate to others from a space of authenticity and purpose.
On this episode I speak with COO and Co-Facilitator of 4D University, Sylina Abke about her journey to living her soul's purpose. Together we explore the power of your relationship to self, relationship to God, and sacred partnership. We also explore how to move through cognitive dissonance and the importance of a "full body yes" when developing discernment. Finally, Sylina shares powerful advice for developing devotion in your daily life through a commitment to knowing of Truth.
Connect with my guest, Sylina Abke:
Website: https://www.4duniversity.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sylina_abke/
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If you're ready to know the 3 Keys to Living Your Soul's Purpose, check out my free video resource here.
Episode Transcript:
Sylina Abke: The path of healing is, is never complete. Um, so dedicate. Every day that you live, uh, a day of devotion to, towards growth, to being more loving and kind and open and authentic and all the things that are beautiful. Um, and as long as you do that, you can create anything that you want.
Cameron: welcome to the Path and Purpose Podcast, where your journey of self-discovery meets with a collective awakening of humanity. I'm your host, Dr. Cameron Martin. In this exciting time of expansion and growth, we are witnessing a profound shift in consciousness. As spiritually awakening individuals, we are called to embrace our inner wisdom intuition and the deeper knowing that we're meant for more.
As an eternal student of the universe and a spiritual leader, I have dedicated my [00:01:00] life to supporting your journey of transformation. Through this podcast, we embark on a shared exploration where you can find inspiration, insights, and guidance from the stories of others who are walking similar paths, to see your truth reflected in their experiences, and to ignite the confidence to believe in the bigger purpose that awaits you.
This podcast is here to provide inspiration, insights, and guidance so that the path to living your soul's purpose becomes less of a mystery and more of a discovery.
Join me for this episode of the podcast where we will explore the many paths to living our soul's purpose.
Track 1: On this episode of the podcast, I'm here with Selena Abke. Selena is the COO and Co-facilitator of 4D University, a global online academy for consciousness expansion. Co-facilitated and [00:02:00] created by her husband, Aaron Abke. Hailing from a small town in southeast Iowa. Selena's journey has been shaped by a challenging and traumatic childhood, an experience that taught her the transformative power of forgiveness and love as the ultimate medicine for healing.
Through her work, she serves as a guiding light for those grappling with life's catalyst, offering support, and for perspective shifts to aid them in their
path of self-discovery. Selena, welcome,
Sylina Abke: And thank you so much. I'm so happy to be here.
Track 1: Well, let's jump in,, as I do with all of my guests, and I'd love to ask you, what marked the beginning
of your spiritual awakening?
Sylina Abke: Well, I mean, you kind of touched on it in my little cheeky bio there. Um, my, my childhood probably shaped, uh, the beginning of my journey, hence all the, uh, the trauma that I, I collected in my youth. [00:03:00] Um, the little awareness I had been, um. I don't even know how to describe it exactly, but I'll just summarize it by just saying my childhood was the very beginning, like most people of their spiritual awakening.
Yeah. I, I noticed that throughout my childhood, in my immediate family, that's where the most chaotic experiences happened. Um, I noticed that I wasn't reacting or processing similar to. My sister or my mom, my experience, although no less traumatic, I would say between my sibling and I, um, I was wondering why I wasn't acting the same way as, as them or her. Um, and then I think that's, that marked the first kind of step of introspection of um, I guess [00:04:00] self-inquiry of why am I acting this way? Why am I looking at this at a more like calm perspective? And that's kind of where trail started. Um, even back then, like I didn't know logically what was going on or what my awareness was leading to. It was definitely more of a like body emotional sense of feeling of safety. Amongst the chaos, knowing that I don't have, um, I don't know, I just had a sense of safety in, in all the situations.
Track 1: like an underlying piece.
Sylina Abke: Yeah, yeah.
Track 1: Would it be fair to say that maybe that you were a black sheep in your family then?
Sylina Abke: Oh yeah, absolutely.
Like sheep in, in so many different ways. And in my appearance, I'm the only blonde in my family, aside from my dad, even to this day, I am very much so the [00:05:00] black sheep, obviously now that I am deep into my spiritual journey and all of that, but it started at the roots.
Track 1: Well, okay, so now that you're in the deep spiritual journey, go ahead and build that bridge for me. So how did you get to this? I mean, I realize that you're serving a community of, well, hundreds, but impacting many, many, many more around the world. Um,
and so how did you get there?
Sylina Abke: how did I get there?
Um, well, I just speed rounding this, uh, this bridge here. Um, I, I, I didn't grow up, uh, in a, like, religious background or anything like that. Um. But I did find worship through Christianity. And um, so that's kind of my end to feeling God's presence and knowing how to define God in my own, in [00:06:00] my own way.
So, uh, my childhood, uh, experience with my stepdad wrapped up around when I was 14, and that's when my mom, my, uh, sister and I left. And fast forward a few years, I'm now 20 years old, living in a different state, Colorado, and no one else. I didn't have any family around me. It was just myself. I just felt called to move there and, um, I just felt all this loneliness and. Disconnectivity between, you know, my family and this, the sadness in my heart about my childhood. Some these things that I haven't had such a prominent feeling of before. I've always been like the people pleaser and, you know, the what does my family need, what does my sister need? Always doing what everyone else needs. So I think my [00:07:00] subconscious led me to Colorado where I could just be isolated to kind of be forced to look inward, at least just that's my reflection of, you know, seeing why I was led there. Um, and so anyways, during that time I was really forced to look inward and I just decided that, you know, I, I didn't know any spiritual concepts.
I didn't even know what the chakras. Chakras were back then, but I knew I had all these really heavy feelings and. I knew I didn't wanna feel 'em anymore. And not in a really dismissive way or suppressive way. I really wanted to replace those parts of my heart with a feeling of love. And uh, somewhere around my teen years, I watched the movie The Secret, which many of your listeners probably know well. Um, and so I knew like if I keep dwelling on these
negative things, somewhere in my reality negative things are going to happen [00:08:00] 'cause I'm creating that. And so I just kept on working on, um, reaffirming my thoughts and beliefs. All the sadness that I felt in my heart with my mom or, you know, any other relationship that was kind of, it felt like it was tearing me. I started to learn how to just accept I. Where people were and not want them to change or be anything other than what they are right now. And that helped a lot when I was 19 or 20. And I don't recall like a lot of anger or resentment towards my stepfather or my ex stepfather at the time either. Um, whenever we did leave when I was 14, I sense a, a feeling of forgiveness towards him.
And just a, just a side note, [00:09:00] throughout my childhood, I always saw, you know, throughout the, the chaotic moments or throughout the abusive moments, I, I saw a sense of sadness behind his eyes whenever he was acting out. And in a way I felt bad for him or felt. Empathy for the pain that he was feeling. And I think that kind of helped my process of my physical pain and emotional pain that I was feeling. I felt like I, I could empathize with somewhere where he felt the same thing. And come to find out he was abused by his stepdad, which I found out, um, much later. So anyways, in my young twenties, that's when I started diving really deep into my own healing. Um, I was going to [00:10:00] worship service all the time and I, I just absolutely loved feeling, um, energy around me and I didn't really get the sermons and I. I didn't really like understand what they're saying and all this hell stuff. I'm like, okay, that's great for anyone who believes in that, but I'm just here to sing and dance and all the things. So, um, that kind of hooked me and all, although I was alone physically, I always had so much peace knowing that I was always with God and God was always with me. So, um, I don't know. I was probably in 22, 23 at this time. I felt really great. Still didn't have a deep connection with my mom. I was content with that. I worked, I am, you know, I am working different jobs [00:11:00] and stuff and, um, just finishing up school and I was just feeling called like. I am, I've done all this healing, I'm feeling, really feeling really good about myself. I'm really independent. I want to find love and knowing what the secret has taught me and just different things throughout my life and throughout my youth that I've practiced, um, through manifestation, and they have appeared before me. I knew that I could manifest my partner if I wanted to. So I just began, I started going through all the aspects of my future partner that I wanted. Um, and that was important to me in my, you know, what would the future father, my children look like? How would what I want our home to look like? All the things. And, um, and [00:12:00] those also included, you know, I wanna, a man of God who, a man who's loves God so much and wants to teach our kids all about God and we can worship together and just be blissed out together and be abundant.
All the, all the little things in between. And, um, I just decided that I was going to have that life and I just let it go and just knew that it would be there for me. And so about five, six months later, somewhere around that time, I get a notification on Instagram that some guy followed me and it was Aaron Abke. And I was like, cool guys, follow me all the time.
Track 1: A goddess. Yeah.
Sylina Abke: I guess I'll follow him back. Of course I had, you know, a thousand [00:13:00] followers, 2000 and he had 30,000. Um, but still I'm just like, okay, cool, I'll leave it at that. And um, went out, went out about my life, uh, and it was getting to around the holidays or something, and weeks later he dms me and it was in reply to a story that I had about like a snow globe.
My mom has kept since I was like two years old. And I just posted about that and he replied saying that his mom kept all of his baby teeth. And I'm like, that's not the same thing, but that's not the same. Um, but anyways, so, uh, Aaron and I met where we just hit it off and talking so much and, um, we resonated a lot with. Just where we both were in life and it was really easy to talk to each other. And everyone who knows, Aaron probably is like, [00:14:00] yeah, of course. How could you not like Aaron? I didn't know who this man was. I had no idea, um, what the chakras were. Still at this point I haven't even heard of the law of one or, um,
Track 1: was he teaching that stuff at that time? Yeah,
Sylina Abke: yeah, he
was a law of one teacher on YouTube. That was his main thing. I think. I didn't even look at his content or his page before we went on our first date. 'cause I really want to learn who the person is through the other person's mouth. Not like who their, you know, social media persona is. At least that's me at that time. And so, yeah, he
asked me a bunch of different questions probably about my, my upbringing and which led to me asking questions about him and. Um, we just kind of meandered down down the rabbit trail or rabbit hole, I guess, on a myriad of different spiritual topics. [00:15:00] Um, and he was great because he would never, you know, go off on a tangent and just like firehose me with spiritual information. He was a good guide in the sense of I led myself through asking questions and it was funny because it was all like an immediate yes.
Like that is, that makes so much sense, my full body, like full body Yes. To everything that he was saying in, uh, on the topic of oneness. And it just really affirmed. And just to your, to your point earlier of like your own soul journey, um, in reflecting on my childhood, like, oh my gosh, that makes so much sense of. You know why I feel the way I do about my childhood. My soul signed up for this and these were catalysts that I needed to grow in a million different ways [00:16:00] or whatever it might be. Um, and it just felt like not victimy. Um, anyways, so we hit it off, and that was three years ago. Um, last year he had this maybe a year and a half ago, he had this vision that he really wanted to create this platform and, um, create this sequence of coursework to help others, um, you know, find their way to enlightenment or find their way out of suffering.
And so at the time I was working with Snapchat, I was in marketing You know, I, I liked it, it was fun, but I got old. Um, but he needed help launching this course, and I have a lot of knowledge in that. So I put together a launch sequence. You know, I help, you know, different structuring [00:17:00] things here and there. Um, but we just had so much fun creating it together, and we didn't really anticipate working together. Um, but throughout this process of putting together 40 university, putting together the launch, and then even after the launch, having so much fun of, uh, you know, seeing all of these wonderful people come in and connect and have such deep, um, healing.
So early on, I just felt so called to be part of it. And, uh. We just decided, I also was planning on leaving Snapchat at the time. My team was being let go or it was in the, uh, preparations of being let go. And so I just locked arms with Aaron at the time and was like, all right, let's, let's do it. So here we're, um, now we have a big team underneath,[00:18:00]
uh, of our wings and it's been amazing.
It's, it's truly a blessing to be a part of 40 university.
Track 1: Yeah, it is beautiful. All right. I've put like four mental pins in all of your shares, so we'll come back to some of these pieces. It sounds to me, first of all, like really your relationship, which is really beautiful 'cause I haven't had a conversation
about like divine relationship on my show yet, so
we're gonna go there.
But it sounds to me like that has been a major catalyst, the coming together of both of you for your own spiritual journey and
now obviously the work you're doing in the world. Would that be
Sylina Abke: Yeah, absolutely.
Track 1: Yeah, so we're definitely gonna, there's a big pin in that one. We're coming back. Um. I'm curious about sort of your understanding of God.
I do want to go back to like the church and the worship, and I'll share a little bit with myself from my own experience. There are some parallels here. So I grew up, [00:19:00] I actually grew up very religious, very devout, but it was me, my choice, not my family. I literally dragged my mom to church every Sunday and I was in the choir, um, multiple choirs.
I ended up being a choir director for years, like four years. I was a cantor. So for me, singing and like worship in that was singing was my predominant worship. And um, I loved it. And I worked like every Saturday and Sunday
practically, and I taught catechism. I grew up Roman
Catholic, so I was Catholic, And, you know, I
thought I was gonna be a priest at like age 20 or 21. Now I realize that I have a lot of priest energy and that many of my we'll say patterns or things that I'm healing in this lifetime have to do with lifetimes as a priest. So like some of my biggest gifts, you know, in terms of the work that I do in the world comes from that.
But also my biggest [00:20:00] limitations in some ways. So anyway, but um, I also identify as a gay man. And so growing up in the Catholic church, it was like not the worst
thing, but you couldn't get married and you just like couldn't do anything about it, right? You could basically go hide and be a priest, but I didn't wanna do that 'cause it felt inauthentic.
And so for me it was a very back and forth, back and forth internal struggle. I grew up in Massachusetts. It's liberal. Nobody really cares about like the gay kid. But I did not come out at all until I was 24 actually. Um, because I was uncertain how to balance this and the church. But what I knew all along was that my relationship to God, as I now know it much more along the lines of obviously what you guys teach, but my now understanding of God is creator, source, oneness, universe, all that is, I didn't have those words back then, but I just knew that [00:21:00] this didn't feel totally right for me.
It felt like I couldn't truly express all the parts of me and God's not mad at me or like is not saying, no, this is wrong. I knew that I was perfect, you know, I had no issue with that, but the social components were problems. So anyway, I felt a call to move to San Diego. So very similarly, uh, where I was very much in a period of aloneness.
Uh, and I, my, my move to San Diego was quite dramatic and definitely plunged me into my dark night of the soul, uh, real fast. And, you know, you wanna talk about like loneliness and self-hatred and what the hell's going on with me? And for me, this is why I'm really loving where this conversation's gonna go about divine partnership.
A big piece for me then was like, you know, where is my partner? I don't wanna be alone, blah, blah, blah. And then it was really in 2019 where I did, [00:22:00] um, a lot of my work, my healing, I started to truly see, oh, these were the belief systems I've held onto for so long. This is actually what's playing out inside of me.
And, um, I carry beliefs of unworthiness. Um. Rejection wounds, abandonment wounds, unworthy. I remember the day I realized that I was carrying the belief that I would be alone forever, because I was unworthy of love. I don't believe that now. But I remember the day when like that came into my awareness. I was like, oh my God, this is so, so bad.
Um, and so anyway, a lot of resonance there. But I kind of wanna ask you how you understood. 'cause for me is really interesting. This transition in my understanding of God, I guess, is really what I want to get at. Because for me, I always knew I was very attracted to the person of Christ. I didn't know it when I was in church.
I [00:23:00] would've told you, oh, it's the church and it's Jesus and I love him, and all that kind of stuff. And now I realize it's like, no, it's actually the consciousness that is Christ, um, that I was attracted to, to begin with and work with. And he's with me all the time. And, uh. This all drive by, connect with this all Christ consciousness generally.
And so anyway, I'm just curious how your understanding of maybe God when you were in the church, experiencing whatever you needed in terms of your own worship and then how you understand the idea of God now
if there's been a shift.
Sylina Abke: Yeah, well,
I think when I first came to the church, it was really a, um, I don't know, an intense first impression. I went to a church that, it wasn't Catholic, it was somewhere in the non-denominational church. It was a new church, one of those churches [00:24:00] with just kick ass band and, you know, awesome worship team that just,
Track 1: There was a period of my life where I was listening to Hillsong all the
Sylina Abke: yeah,
love Hillsong. So it was one of those churches, um, one of the hip churches. So it, it, was easier for me to come from nothingness. In the sense of like, no, talk about God and not really feeling anything or knowing, um, what else is out there besides just people, places, things right in front of you and the tangible. Um, so when I felt alone and I'm like, oh, I need to try to make friends, um, I played sports and volleyball and stuff like that, but I just was drawn to the, the church and there's women's nights on Wednesdays and all of that. So I immediately felt this sense of connection and the sense of belonging, [00:25:00] and I felt so welcomed by all these women and even just the, the men of the church and during worship. So I, I easily fell in love. So my heart center was just wide open every time I would go in there. Um, and during worship, I. How the worship team just like really encourages you to lean in and open up your hearts and lift your hands up on all these different things. And basically, they were teaching me how to surrender. And I would just
allow it to be, I would lift my arms up and, you know, some of the, the words would move me in the songs. I would just baw and cry and cry and I was releasing a lot of the things I was holding from my youth. And I didn't know what was happening. I was just having a good time with God. But, you know, a reflection showed me [00:26:00] like, no, you went, you went some places there. So, so, um, yeah, I think I just fell deeply in love with God of whatever I felt in my heart about God. Like I mentioned, I didn't really, um, understand or resonate with all the pieces of the sermon. Some of it was good, um, you know, about regular life and how you can apply yourself and, you know, just being a good person.
I'm like, heck yeah, I'm all, I'm all about that. Um, but it's definitely heart centered for me back then and I felt God around me everywhere. And I lived in Colorado Springs at the time, right in front of the front range mountains. And so I'm surrounded by all this beauty came from Iowa with corn and cows, so it was completely change of scenery also. And, um, I just felt very held by the love that was surrounding [00:27:00] me and it was just a complete phenomenon for my brain to like try to wrap around this idea. Like nothing physical is holding me right now, but yet I've never felt so held. My life. And that just got me so kind of it where I am now with what God means.
I've never really, I just like, okay, God can be a man. That's fine. I don't know what he looks like. I don't really care. 'cause back then I was definitely like in the feminine relationship with God and feeling based, not like, let's write down all of his characteristics and like, what, what does he look like and how is he blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Like that's definitely like a masculine version of God, I feel like. And I'm a very feminine person. Um, so even today, my relationship with God's Source, whatever, is still [00:28:00] very feminine and heart-based. Um, and I still feel like that swirly, warm presence all around me that I felt back when I was. In 1920, um, it's the same energy that I'm feeling now.
I can have more, you know, logical, I get, I have more labels and can explain things more since I have more spiritual concepts that I, that I did back then. But I would say it's very, very similar from
what I conceptually felt or knew and physically felt about God then and now
Track 1: Okay. You just have different labels for
Sylina Abke: labels.
Track 1: Um, yeah, I really like your explanation too about the feminine experience of God and maybe the more masculine [00:29:00] thinking. Um, I, myself have a lot of feminine energy, and I would say that my predominant experience of God, oneness, source universe is feminine.
It's emotional. I can feel it viscerally in my body. I always have, in fact, the piece that I miss the most, that I have to somehow figure out how to incorporate back into my life again, um, is the sacred music. Because that, for me, I mean, we're talking like, I
used to direct choirs with the organ, which is such a, was my favorite instrument.
Um, and the fact that these songs, these hymns could be sung for hundreds of years in the same, uh, well connection to the past, of course, but all, and then you feel these things like they can unlock all kinds of emotions or whatever about. Things that words can't even quite get to. So this is a part of my own life, admittedly, that I feel like I'm missing at this point because it's the feminine expression of the feeling of the vibration of the music and things like that, that I [00:30:00] certainly miss.
Um, but, you know, whatever, everything comes back into balance. But, um, it's interesting. You also made a comment about, I don't think you exactly said this, but like the resonance, when you started connecting with Aaron, you were talking about how he would teach you things or you would ask questions and then you would like, get this Yes.
Or this resonance. And so, you know, along time, along people's spiritual journeys, I do get this question kind of a lot. It's like, oh my gosh, well. Now I know about the shockers, but what about this? I don't know about that. And is this true or is that true? Where you can go down rabbit holes and
different things and um, ultimately it's about resonance within yourself.
So if you hear something that resonates as true, then it is true for you. Um, many people, myself included, along the spiritual journey, it's like, I want you to describe what the experience is for you, but it's like that we hear things that just, oh, [00:31:00] that feels true. I literally feel it, the feminine principle in my body as like that's a yes.
Okay, now I'm gonna follow that. Tell me more. Tell me more, tell me more. And this is kind of how people's paths unfold. So I'm curious what that experience feels like for you. For me, when I hear something that's a total yes, I feel it like an expansive expansion in my heart center, but also. When I hear something that's not truth with a capital T, it's like it bounces off of me.
I literally feel it like, Nope, like, boom, that's not true, or that's not for me. But I'm curious, I guess really this is a conversation about discernment, but along your journey, explain what that was like for you. When you're
hearing these things, you're like, oh my gosh.
Sylina Abke: Yeah, I, you know, I think you said it so perfectly. Um, I can relate to a lot of like the, you know, the feminine [00:32:00] expression and just embodiment that you probably feel too. It is, it feels like that for me. If, you know, if I'm in a conversation with Erin in our early days of dating and we're talking about, uh, the universe and like the laws of the universe or something and, um, how things happen and, you know, I, I didn't grow up reading, we did not read in my house. I like, I'm just basically a walking feeling and so I'm just trying to like, you know, go on this fairytale ride with Aaron on all these different concepts and it, it feels like a story to me because it's a, it is the first time I've ever heard it and it sounds so beautiful. And I think that that helped me a lot just kind of open up my heart space anyways to receive, because I didn't have all this conditioning to decondition. I. [00:33:00] was a clean slate, ready to be imprinted basically. So whenever he was talking about like the love of the universe and you know, I asked him, um, as everyone probably knows if they know Aaron Aki, he had a Christian upbringing being a pastor's kid and all that. So I came with questions about like, hey, so how does it make sense to me?
What do you think about that? And um, he would come with all this knowledge of scripture and all that, and then just his own feeling on it and whatever. And I'm like, oh my God. Yeah, that feels a hundred percent right. I don't know, I don't know how to explain it, but it is just a full body feeling for me. And even with those, huh? I'm not sure yet. 'cause I can't quite understand like, um. The, for [00:34:00] instance, the chakras were new to me and I was really trying to understand the sequencing of each chakra and the, the role or purpose or energetic flow of each chakra. And it did feel like a fire hose in a sense of like, oh my gosh, this is brand new information and it's so complex and it feels really important. And I'm like, not understanding. Um, but even then, like if I don't quite get it, I'm like, okay, I'll just, I'll leave it right there and, uh, I'll, I'll let it click if it wants to click, if we just continue to continue down this path and whatever. Um, definitely like a non-attached approach. And even with the things like I don't, I don't know if there was ever a, oh no, I don't resonate with the. Learning process between Erin and I, but I can definitely resonate with [00:35:00] like my family or my mom. And that is just kind of like, I respect your world and I'm just going to stay in my world. And I think, yeah, like whenever you described your, your energetic bubble or something, or how things just kind of bounce off of you, I think I had to build up that bubble with practice because before I would just kind of let it land in my open heart and get identified with it and then feel bad about, you know, how I wish it would be different or yada, yada yada. Um, but yeah, the, that, uh, dis resonance had to be, um, practice or that dis resonance process had to be practiced for me.
Track 1: Yeah.
Discernment really to be able to discern what's right or not for you. [00:36:00] You know, you make a really interesting point too, and some of my listeners I know will resonate with this. You know, maybe I talk about my experience in the church and you know, I'm like a walking
modern day priest, basically energetically.
That's how
I feel. But there's listeners of mine are like, no, I didn't grow up religious or I don't have those concepts. I didn't know those things. And so it was really beautiful for you to describe this. Blank slate as you said it, and it's like, okay, well I'm open and this is resonating for me, so I want to keep playing with it.
I think what a lot of people don't realize necessarily when they move through spiritual awakenings, is that for some, or for a lot of people, their spiritual awakening is also met with this like cognitive dissonance because of beliefs or things of the past that they just,
they're not perhaps as open, we'll say as
maybe you were.
Sylina Abke: Yeah, I think it is, it's a delicate journey, but as long as you're just [00:37:00] dedicated to your own path and obviously the path of others as well, your cognitive dissidence will just like be dismantled and you'll fall where you're meant to fall.
Track 1: Yeah. Oh, beautifully said. You'll follow. You're meant to follow. Yeah. I think it's a really important lesson here too, is that if you are committing yourself to your spiritual path and discovering your truth, you're gonna move through cognitive dissonance. It's like, get ready, buckle up. Like that's the point.
I do love it though some, not sometimes. Pretty much all the time where I hear something, I'm like, ah, that's true. Yikes. That's against everything I thought before, and we're sitting in that space of like. So juicy. It's so good. Um, okay. I do wanna speak a little bit about, um, your relationship as a catalyst for your spiritual awakening.
So you have shared a bit about this, obviously as you guys were, um, getting to know each other in the beginning and [00:38:00] you were open and learning things, uh, and then now you're literally hosting a very large online spiritual community. And so maybe that's surprising, but I'm just curious, what were the major lessons, major catalysts, um, and how has this relationship as the container itself, you don't have to go into like intimate details obviously, but I'd love to hear about, um, how relationships, sacred relationship, like this
is a journey and part of a
path towards your spiritual
Sylina Abke: Yeah. Um, you know, we were both coming out of completely different and or into the spectrum when we got together. He had a few, uh, everyone has toxic relationships, relationships, but he had a few back to back. And, um, I also had one, uh, like the year prior, year and a half prior. That was my [00:39:00] last relationship, so we. Were coming in with, you know, the efforts of deconditioning old patterns. And, um, this was our first conscious relationship with two people who were very self-aware and devoted to one another. Um, but there were definitely times here and there where these patterns came up and both of us, either of us, whatever, and it took some practice to not react or be reactive and to cultivate that loving space of, no, I'm devoted to you in this relationship and I can hold this space and not wanna, um, you know, just throw whatever conditioning pattern you have in your purse.
Like, I don't know, retreat or, yeah. Or whatever it might be. So that was [00:40:00] definitely prevalent. Or present in our very early relationship. Um, but we quickly, what, what I really appreciated about first being in a conscious relationship is after any argument or you know, any passive aggressive thing, whatever, we always came to communication and sat down with intention of sharing our hearts freely and trusting and knowing that it's gonna land in a really safe place of love.
And it always did. And you know, that was three years ago. And now our arguments, it's more like a really heartfelt conversation where disagreements are, it's totally not an argument at all. But even now, we have this beautiful space we've cultivated together through devotion of, [00:41:00] of, love. Um, and humility, and just accountability.
All these pillars that really make up a harmonious, conscious relationship or partnership, um, that get to harmonize every single day. And just, I don't know, it just creates such a beautiful life. Um, but it is challenging because you really have to yourself or accept within yourself, like, I'm gonna have to release everything that's negative within me.
Any pattern of wanting my feelings to be validated, coming from me, or, um, wanting an outcome or like wanting him to do something different other than what he's already doing, like. A behavior modification. I don't know what that would be classified, but truly just letting life be has been like one of the biggest catalysts [00:42:00] for my own growth.
But,
uh, both of our growth, I think. But yeah, it's, it's just pure devotion and I, I've never been able to experience this and I don't think Erin has either. So it's, it's truly, truly a blessing to experience God in this way.
Track 1: hmm. Yeah, beautiful that you said that too, right? Because you're looking for, I guess what you saw ever was to experience more of God or your relationship to God, the greater source and there that exists between the two of you within the relationship, right? It's not about him completing you or whatever.
It's something else. Um, so I'm curious because for me. This is something that I, I know I'm called to in this lifetime, uh, divine relationship and big work on this planet with this man. So if you're listening, you can [00:43:00] DM me on Instagram. Um, anyway, yeah, whatever. Um, but also, I guess I'm curious, what would you recommend, suggest, or what would you want to share with someone who, who knows that this is what they want to call in their life?
A conscious relationship that is really mission-based, is God-centered, is um, really about fulfilling one's purpose. What would you want to share with someone who's feeling like, yeah, I really want that. I mean, you hear on the internet stuff about divine union and the divine
feminine and masculine coming together and twin flames, and I'm, you know, whatever.
It's not that these things don't exist, they do, but I think somewhere along the way. People are kind of not really knowing what this is because most of humanity, I would argue, has not experienced conscious relationships in that way. And what I would define that as saying relationship that is
literally at least [00:44:00] partially centered around your spiritual ascension and your spiritual growth, right?
Most humans are not existing in relationship that way because they're not even existing in relationship to themselves in that way. But I'm just curious what you would wanna share, teach, uh, with others who feel like, yeah, that's what I want to call in,
but maybe I don't know what that looks like.
Sylina Abke: Yeah, very well said. Um, I I, think it's important in any level of manifestation or just calling in or, you know, looking at your life and seeing how, how I want this to be. Um, the first step is to look in the mirror and really understand yourself of where am I at right now, and what is prominent in me that's being asked to be released or [00:45:00] let go, or forgiven. Um. And, you know, don't get overwhelmed because that's definitely like a life long catalyst in itself.
You are the perfect representation of what you will get in life and not meaning that you need to comb through and be, you know, picture perfect and have all your shit figured out before you get your dream guy or girl or what have you. Um, you just have to be devoted to yourself first before you're going to get anything in life. So really dedicating time for your own self-care practices, self-love, um, you know, your healing practices, whatever that looks like. Deconditioning those old patterns of, uh, judgment, guilt, shame, fear. Um, all those things that really hold us down, get clear on those, but hold them in a light [00:46:00] and loving way, not in a negative way, because those aren't negative things at all.
They're just meant to serve us and we won't understand how they're meant to serve us unless we actually looked at, look at them objectively and see what is here for me and how can I grow and learn from this. Um, so it's not something that's like, oh, I found this shame and I gotta get out here because that's holding me down.
Like, you really wanna understand it and take your time with it. So I would suggest that, um, being the first thing and then, you know, once you feel good, uh, not complete, but once you feel good and ready and called, I would suggest. Laying out what you, if we're talking about a relationship here, laying out either on paper, um, in your mind, both, [00:47:00] whatever, lay down exactly what you want your future partner, uh, to be.
And you know, it's not completely build a bear, but there's some swings on, on Aaron. Like, I asked for a man of God and I was thinking, the only God that I knew of like Christian and here is like Aaron, a mystical Jesus guy. So kind of on par, whatever, the universe will surprise you with exactly what you need. Enough said. Um, so I think, and just have fun with it. Like the sky is the limit. Your energy says it all. So, um, and like we just talked about before, the, the path of healing is, is never complete. Um, so dedicate. Every day that you live, uh, a day of devotion to, towards growth, to being more loving and kind and open and [00:48:00] authentic and all the things that are beautiful. Um, and as long as you do that, you can create anything that you want. Um, yeah, I think that sums it up.
Track 1: Yeah. Because that's what we're here to do. Yeah. That's what we're here to do, is to create anything that we want. I do wanna ask you, um, what I. Or how you would define devotion or how you understand devotion. 'cause it's a word that you've used many times that um, other guests of mine have not. So you spoke about devotion to God, devotion to yourself, your path, devotion to a relationship.
What is that for you?
Sylina Abke: Devotion
to me is
Track 1: What.
Sylina Abke: truth.
And in, I guess the for further definition of that would be like, for example, devotion to myself and my own growth [00:49:00] all day. I'm not like keeping tags, tabs on my thoughts or my actions, but I've, um, been devoted for some time now to be kind and loving to my, myself and others. And so I have this conditioning pattern that I've created of, if I have a judgment come up of someone else, a stranger on the street or whatever, and I have a judge, a judgment that pops in my mind switching that thought to, I love that person, that person is perfect, or whatever the affirmation to that would be in my mind, that is devotion to myself of deconditioning, that pattern of judgment. Um, and devotion can be like a fractal of a
million different things, but ultimately to me it means the truth of reality. Reality is, is perfection. Um, judgment does not exist in [00:50:00] the perfect reality. Um, so just constantly taking myself back to that place of true love, uh, true light, and true oneness. Um, as long as you have that definition, I think that can apply to all forms of devotion even in your relationship.
What is true love and true light, true wisdom? What does it look like in relationship and smeared across any other experience or situation that you wanna apply it to?
Track 1: I love that. Yeah. I'm also hearing, I mean, you said it, but what I'm hearing about devotion is that it's a commitment to the knowing of truth, of the commitment to maybe enacting truth. Being that, um, I'm thinking about my experience when I was traveling the last few months. One of the big themes that came up for me was actually one you just said, which is [00:51:00] judgment.
I. And I saw from like childhood where I've had judgment on myself, on others, and I've known this for a while, uh, as part of my own work because I was conditioned in a household and in an area of the country where people are quite judgmental naturally. I didn't realize how judgmental I was until I moved to California and then even some more in Hawaii and you know, whatever.
But, um, I'll use the word devotion. I've been very devoted to the practice of recognizing judgment, um, within, when it comes up within myself or when I say to somebody or have judgment towards somebody else, if I have judgment towards somebody else, they have it towards me. And so to take it there with you though.
The devotion is this connection to truth. I know that judgment is just an indicator that I'm not aligned with truth. Because the truth is truth with a capital [00:52:00] T is that oneness is all that there is. Connection is all that there is. Everything is one source unified. And you have to believe in separation in order to judge, because judgment is about comparison.
This person better than, I'm worse than whatever it is, right? And so judgment can only come when we believe in separation. And separation is not truth. It isn't actually capital T truth. Um, and so I guess I love that you gave me the language for it. 'cause this is, has been my practice over the last couple of months.
Well, weeks for sure. But this realization of no, I'm devoting myself to recognizing when I'm not in alignment with truth, how do I know? Oh. I said something judgmental, or I'm thinking a thought that is judgmental towards myself because I know that
that's not actually true.
Sylina Abke: Totally. And it's like, do you really need the label to [00:53:00] know that? Right? It's like you're, you're already acting out that beautiful pattern of being more loving and deconditioning judgment even without that label that describes it. And I think that's just like the innate intelligence of a pure heart
of wanting to be more kind and wanting to serve others more authentically.
And really just wanting your mind to be an open book of like, if I want to have I, I wanna be so pure that anyone around me could hear my thoughts and I wouldn't be sweating at all. Or I would be overjoyed if they could hear my thoughts. That's how pure I wanna be. And setting the intent, the intention is all you need for action to follow.
If you are truly devoted to being that peer or wanting to be that loving, it's up to anyone to decide [00:54:00] what they want to be.
Track 1: Yeah. As we close up this conversation, I wanna ask you,
Do you think that you're
living your soul's purpose?
Sylina Abke: Oh heck yeah. I absolutely, I. I am crushing it because I'm just in love with life and I'm in love with myself, and I'm in love with everyone around me. And I, I just, I love that, I love the purity of life and, um, sure. Like, you know, people say, oh, what's your life's purpose of like, goal, like, what are you going to do?
It's like doing focus, you know, I think I'm nailing it because I think the only important thing to take away is like, you gotta be in love with life. Otherwise, what is your purpose if you're just trying to do, to get to point B, to point C, to point [00:55:00] D? If you forget to be in love in the now moment and every moment afterwards. So, yeah, I'm in love with life and I feel like that's my purpose.
Track 1: gorgeous. Yeah, I mean when I speak about living purpose, I think a lot of people,
our world condition is to think that that's a doing, there's something that needs to be done, right? You came to this earth to create electricity, you came to this earth to like birth three kids or whatever. Um, when I think it's actually more valuable to consider the path to your purpose, and this is why I speak about aligning with your higher self, I.
Because when we do that, we'll just be our purpose. Whatever we end up doing in the process, we'll just
be an
expression of our
beingness in the world.
Sylina Abke: Hmm. Yeah. So beautiful and so easy. Just
Track 1: I know
we way over [00:56:00] complicate this human thing.
Sylina Abke: Don't complicate it. Just check off your brain. Like turn the power off up there and just like sit on, you know the earth for a hot minute. Two minutes. See what happens.
Track 1: Let's see what happens. Oh my gosh. I know. I love that. I was just saying the other day, somebody was, it's been a little while, but I remember when, uh, someone in my life was asking me like we were hanging out or something. Like, what are you thinking about? Like, first of all, you don't need to get into my brain.
That's my own space. But also the answer was nothing. And they're like, what do you mean nothing? Like what are you thinking about? I'm
like. Um, nothing. I'm literally just
staring at the grass like I'm just being, and even in this conversation as I'm speaking, I know that I'm channeling and whatever's coming through, but I am present that the grass is moving like this in my yard and that we are together.
But there is an underlying beingness, a presence, if I want to say, or my connection to my [00:57:00] beingness. I'm connected to that
presence even as I speak or as I think because I know it's always
there.
Sylina Abke: Yeah. Mm. Well said
Track 1: Hmm. Well, thank you so much,
Selena.
This conversation was amazing. I'm so glad we got to spend
time
together today.
Sylina Abke: this has been so wonderful. Highlight of my day.
Track 1: Mine too. Um, and if you, if any of you would like to connect with Selena, you can check out her information in the show notes.
Along my own spiritual journey and from my experience supporting people in living their soul's purpose, I've discovered that living in alignment with our purpose comes down to three things. And unfortunately, most people unknowingly ignore these three things that will actually help them live in alignment. These three things form my Soul's Purpose Framework.
If you're ready to learn how these things can support you in your spiritual journey. Check out my video resource, "The 3 Keys to Your Soul's Purpose".
[00:58:00] In it, I share my framework for helping you identify what's the next best step. On your journey to living your purpose. You can find this free video resource on my website at yourpathandpurpose.com and I left a link to it in the show notes. A special thanks to this week's guest for sharing their journey with us. And I want to thank you for listening to today's episode. My name is Dr. Cameron Martin, and it has been my honor to serve you on your journey of self-discovery. See you next time.